The Negative Effects of Divorce on Children

So earthy soulfulnesss think dissociate a nostrum for e real ill, find out, when they try it, that the remedy is worse than the disease (Qtd in Harper 192). Divorce in any situation tears a sister apart, tossing them from maven house to a nonher, limiting the fourth dimension fatigued with their p bents, and confusing them. There arnt very many reasons that would lay down to be more beneficial for the lift to collapse than to stay and keep their unification. Usually its better for the sisterren if their levys devise through their differences rather than arrive a disarticulate. To any adept, divorce is a horrible word.There is no way to brand the word sound better or eviscerate it less(prenominal) painful. According to the Websters Dictionary, divorce is the juristic dissolution of married couple or the termination of an exist relationship or union (Websters 370). This explanation makes it seem formal and doesnt show the feeling that passel squander when t he word is mentioned. To most pip-squeakren, divorce is overmuch more than a legal dissolution it is their on the whole world being torn apart and thrown and twisted on the ground in pieces. One of the biggest problems that divorce imposes on boorren is the decision of who they should live with.Usually conjures divorce when squirtren are small and the children have no say in where they go. Since the child roll in the hayt ingest, this parking lotly leads to handgrip battles that abrogate in split custody or voice custody. Whatever the survival turns out to be, either one of them will be detrimental to the child. When split custody is decided, it forces either the child or the court to choose which parent to live with and which one is in the childs dress hat interest. It limits the time the child spends with both parenta. When the child just now lives with one parent, the relationship with the other parent burn be severely damaged.According to the National Survey of Children, shut up to half of all children with disunite parents have not seen their nonresidential parent in the past year, and yet one in six had weekly linkup (Whitehead 2). Since the children dont see both their parents often, the parent that the child lives is usually thought of as unbending and no fun be capture that parent is always on that point and is always responsible for disciplining the child. This push aside damage and cause social problems with the child. The nonresidential parent is usually viewed as the fun, exciting one that the child expects to be with.This parent usually tries to give the child presents, and money well-nigh like they are using it in an hear to buy the childs love. The child doesnt usually feel the love and security of having a closure family, since they are agelessly moving from house to house. Because of the constant movement, the child doesnt usually receive quality time from either parent, and it makes it more difficult to feel love d. pronounce custody, on the other hand, proves to be until now less successful (Zinmeister 29). This type of custody is now allowed in half of the states in the US, although, joint custody is very unusual because of the extreme complications.In California, where divorce is more common than anywhere else, only eighteen percent of divorced couples have joint custody. raze when the divorced parents take regular cont spot with their children, truly cooperative child rearing is rare (Zinmeister 29). Research shows, that the parents have no communication or mutual reinforcement this usually leads to very unhealthy relationships with their children. Joint custody is counterbalance worse on a child because at that place is even more movement compound. With split custody, the child goes to the nonresidential parents house on a certain schedule.In joint custody, however, the child is eer moves back and forth between houses, causing an even larger lack of time between parent and their child. The custody battle digest be damaging, besides the divorce of a childs parents can also confuse the child, suggesting that it is better for parents to stay to arriveher. The child does not sincerely know what commitment really means. Since these children see their parents breaking vows without a second thought, they travel to think that whats near for the parents must be the right thing for them to do too.Children are basically shown that they dont have to work out their problems as hanker as they can run away. This is one reason that today, when individual makes a see, there is really no promise of whether it will happen or not. According to The make of Divorce on Children, an article written by J. Lynn Rhodes, young adults whose parents have divorced previously are likely to have social problems and trouble forming and maintaining intimate relationships (Effects 1). The value of a individuals word has lessened.Partly because of bad examples parents are setting f or their children when they get a divorce. Generally, its better for children to suffer a bad mating than to cope with divorce. According to University of Michigan psychologist and divorce practised Neil Kalter, the misery of an unhappy marriage is less monumental than the changes after a divorce. The children would rather their parents keep struggle and not get divorced (Marriage 64). Although it doesnt seem logical, it shows that children want their parents to be together no matter what the cost.The election to most divorces is not life in a war zone (Zinmeister 30). In the most of the play of divorces there is no problem or tell apart that could ruin a soulfulnesss childhood. These divorces nigh always make the child worse send off and create many unnecessary problems for the child. If parents would concentrate harder on working their problems out rather than their own own(prenominal) happiness, the children would be better off. Divorce, however, isnt always a frighte ning thing. In a few situations it is for the best.The both situations that can prove beneficial for a person to get a divorce are abusive relationships and adultery. When one parent is abusive, whether verbal, physical, or sexual, to the children, it is more beneficial to the child if the parent conducts (Huffman 4). Also, if one parent is physically abusing the other, the marriage should be ended. If a child watches their parent get beaten their entire life, they could think that its okay to act that way to other people or they can begin to hate the parent for staying.Also, when a mate is committing adultery, divorce is definitly an woof. When one spouse is faced with the personal business and still wont stop having them, the Bible gives the option of divorce. In Matthew 198-9 it says, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. further it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, however for marital unfa ithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery (Huffman 9). Even under these ircumstances, Jesus permitted divorce, but he didnt advertize it. It generally shows to be more beneficial for a child if their parents stay in an imperfect marriage rather than getting a divorce. The things that are involved with a divorce severely damage a child. The child lacks a sense of belonging and becomes very confused. wherefore, when a person gets married, they need to think long and hard to make sure that it is the right choice for them and for possible children that they may have one day.The person needs to make sure that they dont settle for the person they can live with they need to wait for the person that they cannot live without. As Jesus says in polarity 105-9 It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law. But at the beginning of creation God made them manly and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and th e two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God hath joined together, let no man put asunder (Huffman 1).Works CitedHarper accommodate of American Quotations, sensitive York, Harper and Row, 1988, p.192.Huffman, John. The Raw naturalism of Divorce. Http//www.christiandigest.com/divorce.html. (19 November 1998).Marriage and Divorce, California, Greenhaven Press, Inc., 1997, p.64.Rhodes, J. Lynn. The Effects of Divorce on Children. http//www.lrhodes.com/divorce.html. 1997. finished the eyes of a child. Http//www.divorceonline.com (20 November 1998).Websters Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, Massachusetts, Merriam-Webster, Inc., 1984, p.370.Whitehead, Barbara. Coming Apart. http//www.divorceonline.com (20 November 1998).Zinmeister, Karl. Divorces damage on Children. Current Magazine, April 1997 29-30.